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Needing to seek a balance October 17, 2011

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.

These are days when I need to find some sort of a balance between all the things I need/want to do, tasks I need to accomplish, and also my need to rest and recharge. I’ve spent quite a bit of time with the resting this past year, healing from the abandonment of myself, and I’ve come to understand that I have a reserve of power that I didn’t know was there, but that I could only know after having been exposed to vampiric energies in all areas of my life. I see that I’ve changed a lot, at least at the level of awareness. I need to acknowledge where I’ve been and where I’m going, toward becoming the Healthy Priest making all things sound.

My anger is my friend sometimes, telling me that something isn’t right. I had an interaction last week wherein I could just feel myself as a balloon deflating, and I wonder if the other person in the interaction is consciously aware of undermining me and sucking that qi from me. Does he know he’s a vampire, wishing to suck at me like he was a sole-proprietor version of Aaron’s Rent-a-Center? He might not. In any case, I need to call upon my Godself to come down into this particular situation and help me to wrest myself from the tentacular clutching dogging me.

No more. Begone, ye beast, to be banished into history, and to free up the glorious and radiant Present. But in that beauteous Now, I must find the way to accommodate the need for rest, along with the need to make some money. Ah, yes, the exigencies of life.



1. sunfiresblog - October 23, 2011

I have a teacher, AlixSandra Parness, who once told me that if someone is sucking energy to just give it to them, because you have an infinite supply. At the time I didn’t believe her, but I’ve discovered it’s true. When you let yourself become a channel of healing energy, you can be with the type of person you call a “vampire.” They will take and take energy from you and in the end you have just as much energy as before. The only thing is not to get into a right-wrong game with them. A right-wrong game will enable them to take your personal energy. They don’t need it, and you don’t want them taking it.

2. frostwolftfirerose - October 24, 2011

What you say about the right-wrong aspect is the key, for the drain took place in the context of a continual power struggle the 2 of us had within the relationship. I also was conscious that to him I was a “fix-it” project (and therefore not quite right), and I just yearned for him to accept me as I was. The whole relationship was grounded in a right-wrong dynamic, and it cropped up again the other day. Though this time I had the benefit of time away from the drainage, and thus I was more acutely sensitive to it. Still, it carries an emotional half-life. I am just now getting out of the emotional hangover from the experience.

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