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Struggle with Rest October 22, 2010

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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I developed a little cold over the past couple of days. All last week, I was quite busy, going down to NYC twice in one week–and apologies to my New Yawk peeps, but I really can’t take much of la ciudad anymore. It’s just too harsh and hectic. And I had other duties to attend to you in the past few days as well, and I started to feel peaked on Sunday night. I told a friend who suggested to me that if I had a cold, it was probably because something was confusing to me.

It occurred to me that it’s this whole aspect of rest that confuses me. I feel guilt over taking the time and space to rest, something which not only my soul and spirit crave, but this body as well. So my body obliged me by becoming a temporary home to a virus that would make me desire the comfort of beddlez.

It’s a wonderfully odd paradox about being sick with a cold or flu though, that I actually get in touch with an element of power coursing through these veins. Laying in bed, I’m contemplating this wet butterfly that has created a haven for the hardening of these wings. Having kicked away the last bit of cocoon, I am left with myself and the elements and utter trust of the process. A rather radical place, but one that is necessary for This God’s Growth.

My teacher said that I’m part of the Underground Railroad in a way. A U.R. of consciousness at the least. This power stalkin’ mage opens up to wanting what i want and to deliberately intending and allowing it to come forward.

What are the Plays and Screenplays of this God? I would love myself in all my parts!

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