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Probably my hardest year ever September 27, 2010

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Capital Region Notions, Personal Journey, Uncategorized.

This whole process dates way way back.  Much of what I thought I was, who I thought I am, is being stripped away.  It’s been building for a really long time, and now I’m in a surrender place.  And I’m not alone, but I’m alone.  Need to go through this by myself, because it’s about taking the fragile butterfly who’s emerged from the chrysalis and give myself the space that’s necessary to let the wings harden and to keep the heart and the belly soft. 

I’ve cleared the deck, as far as that goes.  Moved to a new place.  And now I’ve cleared my schedule of that last little bit of cocoon irritation called “the job.”  As of the Libra New Moon, I will have all the time I need for this healing/convalescence/exploration of this New Man emergent.

It’s been the big four: Loss of parent, loss of relationship, moving house and now, the voluntary separation from my place of woyklez.  The post-cocoon lodge has been prepared.  As of October 7, I will have shaken the last little bit of cocoon husk from my feet, and freed myself for come what may.  My feelings right now are all topsy-turvy.  It’s been a rough couple of months here, but really it’s been a rough time for longer than that. 

Because I’ve long known that I have needed to do this very thing, and to let the processes of change take over and trust that it’s all going to be divinely appointed.  It is anyway, and I’ve been telling people I need to take a leap of faith, which is better than a leap off a building isn’t it?  Or a leap of a bridge. 

I’ve taken risks like this before and there have been scary moments, but I’ve been able to get through them with just a little bit of worry at the end.  This one may be more open-ended, I don’t know.  I guess I will be creating another blog soon, and this one will more than likely take up the original themes of getting to know the neighborhoods and the cities, etc.  I have a couple of projects for this lined up.  And the new blog–well, I might call it Transparent Butterfly’s Hideaway.  Or something like that.  A short-term blog I would imagine, but one packed with intensity needless to say.  And more than likely starting on that New Moon.

Magick is afoot with this change of events–I gave notice on the Equinox.  We’ll see now where this takes me.  What is the Work, Joy, Pleasure & Radiance of this God indeed?



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