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Harry Potter and the Tri-Alma-Gro, or “Frostwolf’s Homecoming” August 9, 2010

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Personal Journey.
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I think it was in Chamber of Secrets (Book 2 of the Harry Potter series) where Professor Gilderoy Lockhart had attempted to help Harry Potter after he rec’d a broken arm in a Quidditch tourney, and succeeded in disappearing ALL of Harry’s arm-bones.  A magickal disaster if ever there was one, right?  Luckily for H.P., it happened at Hogwarts and Mme. Pomfrey was able to give him Skele-Gro to help his ulna, radius etc., grow back.  Like any bonesetting it was excruciatingly painful but by the morning he was mostly better.

Well, I’m seeing something similar taking place only I don’t have Mme. Pomfrey’s amazing apothecary to take advantage of, for I’m regaining some aspects of myself that fled as some of the hidden wraiths of codependence and approval-seeking came to the fore.  This ugly aspect of life has brought with it myriad forms of the disheartening and dis-souling, if you will.  And I have brought in all sorts of teachers who seem to be evaporating one by one as the advent of understanding that as far as this sort of leeching is concerned, I am a sinking vessel.

I can no longer take it, and in this process I am surrendering to my Godself.

This is a time of great soul-searching for yours truly.  This will probably go on record as being the hardest summer I’ve had since the summer of 1982 when I had my disastrous coming-out experience with the ‘rents.  I went to Thacher Park for a few hours to meditate, and became aware that this is “Frostwolf’s Homecoming”–a phrase either Hestia or Cerridwen used, I can’t remember which.  But I had to sit by the escarpment on the Indian Ladder trail hidden from other hikers and be with my feelings and my deity-allies.  I have some assignments, and I’ve had some strange and piquant awarenesses emerge about the current situation.

I’ve agreed for the time being not to make an announcement about what’s going on.  (Other factors, etc.)  Some stuff has blown my world completely apart, and I have definitely been praying for something like this.  I didn’t think or dream or imagine it would take this heart-shattering form, but there I have it.  I’m here, and I have to press onward.

Bully for mih.

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