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My shamanic death process October 7, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Mystical, Personal Journey.
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That title may seem melodramatic, and to be honest, it is.  Yet it’s also accurate, and it’s been something that’s been transforming me from the inside out since . . . oh, I don’t know, 1982 maybe? 

Basically, to go through it can be fast or painstakingly slow.  I’m taking the more “educational variety” as William James might say in describing a variation on spiritual awakening.  And the first moment on that path was my rude awakening to the way things really were when I came out to my parents.  Then I had another one in 1987 when I screwed up royally on a job I loathed (and then spent the next 2-1/2 years slowly working myself up to either leaving it or to a suicide attempt), then I had yet another one 10 years later when I started working for “da man” and realized just how moloch-y the unreal matrix-reality worked in practice, and it’s been a series of different sorts of awakenings ever since.

This shamanic death that’s been ongoing has been sometimes dramatic, and sometimes it’s been a joyous reprieve.  There have been moments of the awareness of joy and freedom along the way.  And right now, this is not an exception.  These next few months may see me truly fall into the process and embrace the transformation, throw myself into the grey gunge of the chrysalis and let the Iron Pentacle do its mojo on me.  With some divine (self-)direction of course.

And I have a feeling there will be another joyous space just beyond it.  In fact, I know there will be.  The best part of this whole thing is that I know I’m not alone, and also there are more allies and colleagues along the way than I currently know of.




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