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Is it apathy? May 8, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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My gut feeling, though I confess it may also be a wish I have, is that some deeper process is at work than just feeling listless and apathetic.  Something that is of a category not related to the lassitude associated with the post-Beltane emotional-start-of summer moment.  (Also today is the Scorpio full moon, and therefore Wesak–the celebration of the Buddha’s birth–not that this celebration has anything to do with this feeling.)

I tend to feel that somehow there is a general cocooning taking place, that perhaps we are entering into a cultural chrysalis wherein all of us will be transformed–whether we like it or not.  Some of us act as the onset cells that are erupting on the planet and in human consciousness (and conscience) to impel chrysalis creation and start the process of rebirth into a new form.  And I feel that this ennui is an aspect thereof.

I might have mentioned this entity who is here as a student watching me specifically.  I don’t think I’m special–I think “Mirente” (pronounced “Meer-ent-uh” btw, as this entity-who-appears-as-a-she makes explicit) selected me out of a whole panoply of options, but she has communicated to me that she is in a select program that is studying this world at this juncture in this continuum.  So… Well, I like to have my ego stoked, who doesn’t?  But I distrust it.  I am not a guru, and refuse the role.  (And btw, uh,yichhh!)

From Mirente, I get the impression that we are all special in our ways.  I assume she observes me because of certain resonances and affinities we have.  She makes no judgments and she doesn’t give me advice.  I have other entities that help there, though I wonder how many of those might also arise from my egoist desires and expectations. I have noticed they don’t stay long though.

Anyway, I have noticed both “apathy” and overcommitment in people.  Perhaps it’s a necessary component for the change that’s got us all by the short-hairs.

Two more Doom Sonnets!  I realize I didn’t put up #4, but I thought I did.  And they’re both kind of funny.

Doom Sonnet #4

“The Stern King, a Bright Fame, of Darksoem Hue.”
Looking up my birthname in a baby
name definition book returns this clue
(heh heh) to such character called.  Maybe.
That fellow who I’ve been burns brightly
indeed, on a pyre of duff and dead matter.
I die into a new name, one more rightly
in step with wolfish man emerging, gladder
for all the transformation vehement
downfall of vEmpire, of necronomy
then creepy corposes laid in wet cement
hardened footnote storied taxonomy.
This chakramuna-shaman yelps in joy,
strips naked, shows his wiener–Attaboy!

Doom Sonnet #11 – A Whimsy…

Should I take issue with the word “doomer?”
As far as sonnets go, rhymes of humor
can be the order of the day, boom or
bust.  (Personally, I think of “tumor”
on hearing the word–tasty! I chew more.)
Even as I awake to rumor
and gossip to befit a post-boomer
like myself, it still depresses.  Do more
people come to this awarenss through more
sadness and doubt?  ‘Tis not false tremor
that vinegar less than honey drew more
happy folk hither. And joyous late bloomer
finding gladder vales midst earthy glamor…
“Doomers'” delight ’twill soon ‘nough enamor.

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Comments»

1. psychegram - May 10, 2009

I’ve been noticing something like this myself recently … energy levels way down, sleeping too much, no motivation to do anything. Have neither meditated nor practiced yoga for I guess about a month now, which probably explains a large part of this lassitude though there is certainly a chicken-and-egg quality to this.

I’ve seen the same thing in others … and as to why? Your explanation seems as good as any other (and has the great virtue of being at least somewhat optimistic in tone, doomer though you may be ^_~)

You should post the doom sonnets in the ‘poetry’ group on Evolver … any response you get will likely be positive.

2. frostwolftfirerose - May 11, 2009

Meditation has been a problem too. Difficulties arise there. And yes, others report similar manifestations, even people not necessarily aware of the multiversic soup we all inhabit.

“Doom” as it’s expressed in the “frostwolf-i-verse” is indeed a buoyant, delightful transition. The Doom Sonnets may depress some, but I feel elation as I write them! And so I’ve put 4 of them on Evolver, as per your suggestion. Muchas gracias.


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