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A Smoking Mirrors Post That Got Snarled Up March 6, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Mystical, Personal Journey.
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For some weird reason, I tried to post the following on Smoking Mirrors, but couldn’t.  The word verification element got all fritzy, but that could be the fault of the system here.  Guh-buh!

Ganesh, yes.  He keeps popping up for me these days.  Interesting.  Elephant in the room.  Yesterday’s post on Automatic Earth that put me in the mind of this delightful divine emanation.

I used to i.d. with the elephant in another way, having tipped the scales just shy o’ 300 lbs.  Since saying adios to 110 pounds, I’ve felt a heaviness at this time of year that just comes.  Part of it is living in the Northeast USA soon to be FUSA (“F” standing for “Former”–it’s already United In Name Only or UINOSA, which I pronounce Wino-say).  My formerly 300 pound frame used to shield me from the sludgy feelings.  When I was heavy, it was the summer that got me down.  Up here, March and April are the months when suicides increase, people get pink-slipped, divorces and separations spike, when families undergo abuse events, assaults, robberies, hate-crimes, etc.  Ares makes his presence know.

The mention of Columbine brought me back.  I grew up in Littleton, and Columbine was a cross-town rival.  The suburb straddles two counties.  Columbine’s in Jefferson and I lived in Arapahoe.  Interesting to think about the 10 year anniversary of that.  Columbine focused “my family play,” actually, together with N. Klein’s “Shock Doctrine.”  Somehow that book made me understand the sickness in Upper Middle Class suburbs like Luchatown.

It’s nice others are talking about this heaviness.  I feel it too.  I sense that part of it personally, is that I naturally take on what others don’t want to face or feel.  I have to pray constantly to keep the focus where it belongs, not on others.  I’ve been taking myself to task for “metafingerpointing”–pointing out to others that they’re pointing their fingers at me and have 3 fingers pointing back at them.  When I do that, I’m still taking others’ inventory, still not doing my work.

No, I’ve got to face my own personal Balrog(s), find the way through the mano-a-mano with the fumed Latter Day pSychopaths be they Hate-U’s or Catho-holics or Southern Batshits.  Hard to let go of judgment, hard to acknowledge that these vEmpire Stalwarts, these champs of the necronomy are parts of myself, parts of creation.

In the Feri tradition, there’s the story of the birth of Melek Taus, who is the peacock god.  He is born from the union of the divine twins.  I find it fascinating that there are versions of this in other traditions, one from the Hindu tradition–Karttikeya is the son of Shiva and Krishna, I believe.  Logonuede in the Yoruba tradition is the son of Ogun and Oxossi–two male orixa. Even in Celtic lore, Gwydion and Gilfaethwy together birthed 3 sons during Map-a-Mathonwy’s 3 year sentence of banishment from society.  Melek Taus is the progeny of the Blue and the Red Gods. 

Think somehow, like M.T., I have to shake my tail feathers and cause the rumbles to happen in all the worlds.

But on the day-to-day, I listen to the distracted people I work with, busy dancing to the groupthink tunes, and I wince inside b/c I’m not desirous to participate, but neither am I desirous to start fruitless conversations.  Wonder if and when that will change.

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