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Free Floating Feelings February 10, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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I am not sure what impetus causes me to feel anger more some days than others.  For some reason today, the feelings vacillate between rage and emotional exhaustion.  It’s tough to cast about for blog entries some days, and the anger just gets in my face.

It’s not “mine”, I know.  It floats through me and the mode of delivery has been certain websites that focus on “them them THEM” and the reporting of “Their” “them-ing” of myself. 

ZEMM’NS is Anuthah MIHZ, KWIS? (“knowwhatI’msayin’?”)

Yawyna…  I realize that my boredom makes me a little more susceptible to anger and frustration, and to the desire to mock the eminently mock-worthy though they do a better job at parodying themselves than I ever could.  (I mean, Glenn Beck??? Really???  What kind of AA program is cuntservative working?  He has NOTHING I want…) 

I try to remember gratitude.  I need to keep in mind that I have service commitments and that I do theater, and that I have a partner.  Some days though, it gets to me, all the satans satanizing me and forgetting their own satanization is a root cause of their unhappiness and misery.  It’s damn hard to sit there sometimes and just go “Oh.  Uh huh.  I’m sorry you feel that way.”  The part of me that wants to believe it’s about me gets frustrated now that I know that it never is, the “hysterical, it’s historical” thing.  (Just typing those words opened up a little chink of light there.  Yea!)

And I wonder if the vEmpire enthusiasts will ever get tired of all their toxic belief addictions.  Do they have a bottom there?  Or will their disease (which wants not only them dead, but everyone else as well) get the better of them and take them out? 

It’s a compulsion I have had past difficulty with, going to places that will just make me angry.  In college, I used to pick up copies of the National Review just to get my fix of anger.  (Just as effective to get me out of the present moment as a Twinkie pack or a bottle of Jack!)

And I am so SICK of it all.  I just want to stop it already.  Star Goddess come to my aid!!!!

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