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The Feeling of Being Drugged February 4, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Mystical, Personal Journey.
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As I get deeper into my own understanding of the spiral pathway of moving out of addiction, I see that there are many stimuli that can keep me drugged in my awareness.  When I sit here in front of the computer, I struggle to “stay awake.”  I log onto websites that are more or less the ones that “awake” people go to, but I work with people who are somnolent to say the least. 

Not that there aren’t seekers, but they’re points of awareness seem to be different than mine, which is only fair.  But I just read a really wise thing Robert Heinlein said that “Being right before the time is right is socially unacceptable.”  I don’t know whether I’m “right”, except in the sense that I would rather be happy than be right, but ironically, my happiness depends on my perceptions, and upon acceptance of “what is. ” And as part of that accepting of “what is” I see that I need to accept that others will try to control their situation.

This morning on the bus, I felt a surge of energy as we passed the State Capitol.  Not exactly sure why.  I also drove in and parked out of meter-range and took the bus from there,  rather than taking one of the Troy buses like I usually do, as I have an appointment tonight.  There was a change to my routine, but I definitely had the feeling of “golden” around me.  And I wondered if I would be able to keep that with me as I went through the day.

I know that the energy levels transmitting from various sources (the Sun, the Galactic Center, etc.) are raising the vibrations of the earth, and that I’m eager for it.  This time of year, as I’ve been blogging about, is quite difficult for me because this is the time I feel it most acutely.  Around my birthday and my abstinence anniversaries, and then into the Spring Equinox and then into April.  Still, I rather would be the tuning fork than someone who either wishes to deny this energy, or to control it or to numb it.  I do wish to learn how to work with it, and to see how it will allow me to focus the energy toward this task or that manifestation.  But it’s in the spirit of service to the Goddess and to my Godself.

Each day I come to the office and I have this struggle.  Today, it feels that the “force” of awareness is keeping the vision clear.  The sight, the hearing, the sensing.  The spirit of the building is also adding its vibrations into this.  I radiate out and it gives out as well. 

Today I feel vibrant.  I hope I can keep it going.

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