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Fear-marination Part Deux January 9, 2009

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Personal Journey.
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I’m taking this 4th Step stuff slowly.  This morning, I remembered a couple of other “deer-in-the-headlights” moments.  (I won’t bore people with these–we’ve all experienced these sorts of things, and I myself get a bit … antsy when people share their frissons du dread.)  But over the past 12 hours or so, somewhere between when I went to bed and when I got out the door this morning, I realized there is a core of strength inside me, and that these fears are mere distortions/distractions that catch me up sometimes.

More specifically, I visualized a strong witch-in-training (who I’ll call “Ariane”) I know who frequently approaches matters with a strong sense of herself who speaks to me in the strength position, and there is another friendly W-i-T (I’ll call her “Cynthia”) who is a bit more circuitous and gives off a timid vibe, though she’s also every bit as powerful.  Cynthia doesn’t exude that power though, and Ariane just seems to come from that place as if she were born from the womb with it.  But Ariane doesn’t seek to dominate Cynthia, but rather to coax out the work of Cynthia’s divine flower soul, and Cynthia could use the strokes, needless to say.

I have to constantly tell myself that I am proud of my ability to manifest, and actually these powers are HUUUUUUGGE!  Part of my problem really is that some of the things I think I desire are so piddly that it doesn’t make sense to put manifestation spells to make them happen.  For me, it’s better just to make a little list.  It happens more like that and it has happened like that before.  I’m frequently surprised about looking at lists of things I want many moons later, and finding that I did manifest much of what I wrote down, sometimes not for the best results.  But there they are.

“False Evidence Appearing Real” and “Face Everything and Recover” are two common acronyms for FEAR.  They are both quite accurate.  And this strong and beautiful part of myself that is saying “Hey Frostwolf, ya don’t need to stress about these things” gets through my thick skull at long last.

I really am all right even if some of the things I see in my “worst” scenarios do come to pass.  I’m protected.

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