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Acceptance Is the Answer to All of My Problems November 18, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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In most 12-step programs, the common theme of November-time meetings is gratitude.  Actually, I tend to think it becomes the default topic for the last 2 months of the year as yule/Christmas/Saturnalia etc. is the time of gift-exchange.  And it is actually a grand thing for one’s spiritual fitness to give gratitude as frequently as possible.

I start off this post talking of gratitude even though the title refers to acceptance for reasons I can’t quite fathom.  I understand that often gratitude arises from accepting issues at a deep level, and over the past few weeks I’ve been challenged quite a bit.  Prop H8 has challenged me in some necessary ways, where I try to hold a space for all positions, even the ones I find personally repulsive and well, anti-me. 

It’s been identified elsewhere that the real problem with the [e]x-ing-out right is that they are acting in the very ways they accuse the other side of acting in a classic act of projection.  I’m quite aware of that tactic.  It’s common to alcoholic homes, many of which also suffered from a collection of addictive beliefs which had the common theme of belief in the awfulness of people and from which the fruitless attempts at control would emanate in all forms.  I can look back at my childhood and notice that my case-of-beer-a-day-drinking Daddles attempted to control the family because he himself was outta control with the beer.  And I suspect that there are hidden addictions in addition to the public-face addiction of on-the-sleeve pietism that belief addicts present, first in “the religious crack-dens” as it were, and then taking their malady into the collective commons.  While I imagine there are other problems going on, as with Ted Haggard and Pastor Becky from “Jesus Camp” who appears to this compulsive eater as someone with an eating disorder, this addiction is accompanied by the desire to scapegoat, to project and deflect their own actions onto individuals they would discredit out of some misguided sense of self-righteousness masking the desire to get the attention off of their own sicknesses.  And they fool people . . . for a time.

I posted recently to a thread on a blog that I’d never seen before a comment about these notions, using the metaphor of a fire in the basement as Ran Prieur had recently noted about the rage-aholics and violence-prone followers of Mme. Palin.  There was an attempt to present a rational discourse about the marriage question, which I actually had posted about maybe a day earlier, that if this was a rational place, we would see “civil unions for all” or something like that.  The word “marriage”–a word discredited due to both its sacramental and patriarchal power-over past–should be forever retired from legal parlance and the focus for government would be squarely on the contractual aspects of partner-bonding.  That is the “simple” solution, as unpalatable as it is to the unreasonable zero-sum folks on both sides of the equation. 

And sure enough, scrolling down there were the h8-ful comments from the mine-is-better-than-everyone’s religious belief-addicted perspective.  I didn’t stay to see if anyone took the bait, but only a couple of people really understood or registered what it was I said.  I can’t make people see what I see.  I have to accept that other people are doing the best they can, though it’s about to get tougher for all of us with the vEmpire going down the tubes.  It’s quite a difficult thing, as anyone who’s ever had to deal with addicts knows, to try and show up and be present with a person ensconced in their problem.  There’s no dialogue possible.  Everything I would say to someone so enslaved unbeknownst to themselves would get skewed, which is why people in this situation are counseled not to engage.  “Oh,” “uh huh”, “that’s interesting,” “I see your point,” and then when they ask what do you think, “can I get back to you on that?”  and then end the conversation and move on as quickly as you can.  Detach with courtesy if you can’t detach with love, and only detach with an axe if you can’t see any other way out.

This is much larger than you or me.  That much is clear.  Looking at these people, I can imagine that there are “entities” if you will, that are sucking them dry.  Just as there are elements in booze and drugs that make a person into those shells we all have seen, just as corn syrup and sugar/flour in all their various forms turn a person into a pair of unseeing eyes in a mass of flesh, some element sucks the soul out of people who really try to enforce your/my belief in their soulfulness, despite objective evidence to the contrary.  And to the addict mind, the worst thing someone else can do is to surrender to the truth they find painful to see:  The person they/I love, who is so afflicted with this pernicious affliction, must be released to their fate.  If they hit bottom, great.  If not, let me hope their suffering ends quickly.

It’s plain to see that these people, Mormons and Catholics and Evangelical Christians really really hate their own humanity.  And while they may have “earned” this shame and guilt and self-hatred through their own destructive and bankrupt actions, if I add to this aspect, I am keeping it going.  vEmpire, addiction, religious fear-based persecution, cancer–they all operate in these Uranian, jumpy ways and they rely on our participation to keep them going, especially our judgments or our enabling, or our making excuses.  (Which is why I can’t really be pleased at a democratic party win of the Presidency, because they aren’t showing the surrender aspect we all need to see and to work into our own lives.)

I’m not sure what’s going to happen in Cali–over time, this proposition can not stand.  It’s basically an abuse of this referendum system to create a subclass of citizens all the while arguing that people who are basically saying “GTF off my foot, fool!” are being intolerant of intolerance.  It’s a truism that your civil rights end when before they get onto my body.  This attempt to foreclose governmental responsibility to ALL of its citizens and ultimately to criminalize minority expressions through the Diebold back-door are worthy of contempt and deploring.  (Deplorement? Deploration Neither of them sounds like their words-am I right?)

Civilized people in general need some sort of “Civ-Anon” meeting where we talk of how to detach from the tapeworms, the vampires, the imperialists, and the belief addicts who seek to make end-runs (into the void) around that inevitability that “man plans, God/dess laughs.”  We need to come together to be cheerleaders for the view that humanity IS worth something, IS worth continuation even though we’ve made a grand mess of it all. 

My prayer for anyone who reads this is that you remember you’re delightful, that you are as flowers are to bees, and that you are delicious and necessary indeed.  And may that act as a tonic to those who truly believe the soul-sickness of their own raging self-hate that radiates out into hatred of this “vale of tears.”  True, there is sadness, there is loss.  People we love, animals we love, trees we love pass away.  But thus far, life continues along.  And it can continue along for the foreseeable future if we let go and let God/dess. 

Blessings.

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1. Acceptance Is the Answer to All of My Problems « Troy-Albany … - November 19, 2008

[…] Acceptance Is the Answer to All of My Problems « Troy-Albany … (Which is why I can’t really be pleased at a democratic party win of the Presidency, because they aren’t showing the surrender aspect we all need to see and to work into our own lives.) I’m not sure what’s going to happen in Cali–over … […]

2. Wordpress UK » Acceptance Is the Answer to All of My Problems « Troy-Albany … - November 19, 2008

[…] Credit:Acceptance Is the Answer to All of My Problems « Troy-Albany … This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. « HostUtopia Blog: News and Updates Create multiple headers in WordPress | Mike Meisner » […]


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