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Stressed, mondo October 30, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
Tags: , , , ,


I had been meaning to write something today.  Anything, if it came to me.  But I’ve got a lot on my mind.  I feel wiped out, anxious, sad.  I sense there’s a lot of sadness around me too.  It all totally sucks.  Eesh.  And I drew the Tower card today.  Wonder what sort of cosmic comeuppance is going on right now.  And how is it going to affect us all.

I also drew the Fehu rune, though.  I have an idea of what I need to do with that.  A necessary action to manifest something that scares and thrills me.  A simple thing really.  I know what it is.  And it seems that Fehu is the omen for it.  Oddly enough. 

I’m also feeling a bit nervous about my coming out as a doomer.  A cheerful one, but still, I am eager to watch our civilization devolve like the wicked witch of the west in The Wizard of Oz.  “What a system, what a system” as it shrivels from receiving that cool blast of death-cleansing, lifegiving water. 

B’-bye, vEmpire!  Don’t let the door hit you on your way out!

We had auditions for the plays in our Pop-Up and New Play series last night.  I feel totally wiped out right now.  I just want to cry and cry and cry, for some reason.  Don’t know why exactly, other than I had one of the busiest 2-day periods  I’ve had in a long time, since I first started working again for these attorneys. 

I just have to say it:  Legal work hurts me.  I have been awakening to some of the insights others have had about creating laws and rights, that they serve to alienate us from our selves and others.  These are “air-tools” and as such serve certain purposes, but they have overtaken so much of our lives, that we are literally being blown to smithereens by all the legalized coercions, and the anesthetized (if we’re lucky!) rape and pillage games going on in our very own lives. 

About a month or so ago, after my cat died, I had a new awareness arrive in my consciousness, that when I’m thinking about “death-death-death” that I’m not in alignment.  Today and yesterday and the day before that–well, I wasn’t in alignment.  Death-death-death was around me, and so too were my angry mockings of the troglodytic crowd that I don’t wish to acknowledge is a part of myself.  Just as these ogres don’t want to see that I as a gay witch smart artist guy am another face of them.

In lak’ech, you know?  Hurt me, you hurt too, and worse.  Karmic blowback’s a bitch, eh?  Though I wonder how one is supposed to face some of this ugliness out there. 

Anyway, I’ve been in the death-death-death and anger at stoopid-‘MerK-K-Kans who see me as their (addictions’) worst nightmares, and they(their addictions) would be right I guess.  vEmpiry HATES the light of day more than anything.  It also HATES soothing and cleansing darkness too though, preferring to see hearts exposed to the sun and the skin under wraps and muscles inside machines.  Yeah, like people can live like that for more than .02 seconds.

Realign, realign, realign.  Make kala.   Ha.   REAR is the antidote to FEAR. 






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