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“The Test” October 21, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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Julia Cameron, in The Artist’s Way, discusses an interesting phenomenon that sometimes happens in manifesting one’s artistic dreams and notions.  She has observed that when we start to move to our truest desires, something else can frequently rise up to tempt us away from it, because it’s safer and more “in line with expectations.”

Interestingly, I’m noticing a stranger wrinkle in this idea, in that as I move toward my heart’s desire for singing and body percussion gigs, and have been working to manifest one, that my theater stuff should all of a sudden start to really get my attention.  And I have been feeling conflicted, though the more I think on what it is I really want, and who I really am as an artist, the juice is really in my own singing and performance work rather than in scripting works for actors to play characters behind the fourth wall of the stage. 

I have had some good accomplishments in that realm, mind you.  I’m really proud of My Littleton Play, Killing the Audience, and Adrenaline, as well as a bunch of short plays I’ve written. I’m also quite proud of the monologues that come to me because I know various actors.  But my heart moves me toward the singing and solo performance work, and wouldn’t you know but I start to move in that direction and right on schedule, The Test appears.

I was just meditating and it feels really good to do that, I must add.  It helps to clear out mental rubbish that sometimes floats into my head.  Part of the reason I meditated just now though was to figure out what I wanted to post today, and this is what I realized I need to write about.  I’m involved in manifestation work, and I have given myself a deadline for arranging something.  I’m getting hits about what I need to do, and I will do these things.  But the challenges are rising to meet me as well.  And that just sucks!  I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.  That’s that.

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