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Coping with Denial October 3, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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I have to accept it.  I’m in a different place than pretty much everyone I know.  I’ve been accepting this, but it’s difficult at times.  I need to be in relationship to people, and what that means to me is that I need to be in relationship to others’ denial of the situation. 

When I started talking with my partner about peak oil, financial collapse of the vEmpire system and climate change all coming together in a perfect storm scenario–which does seem to be happening in spite of this denial–I was confronted with denial, and hostility.  “Go live in a cave in the forest then!” was his frustrated response.  He feels my depression is about looking at these things, and I have come to accept that I can’t convince him otherwise.  I actually look forward to things becoming more joyous and immediate, more intimate and divinely ordered when the economy tanks, when perhaps a jubilee will have to be forced for us all in spite of the scrabbly clawings of TPTB, those Keystone Kops who call themselves “Illuminati” or WTF-ever. 

Perhaps that is my castle-in-the-air.  It is the deepest desire I seek to embody, it is the SPELL of this God as it were.  But I feel that it’s only about our perceptions that make us think it always must be prison-time rather than “Yuletide every day” if you will.  I remember once being in a 12-step meeting in a room that was decorated with multicolored lights.  It was that way all year round, not just for the December holidays.  And the moments of stillness and silence, the moments when I connect to the warmth and adoration I have for humanity in spite of the pathologies surrounding us–these inspire me, and I long for a more lengthy time spent in contemplation and mystery–not to escape from the world, but to get to a baseline for operating in whatever world it is that emerges around us.

My “depression” or more accurately anguish, is just about being in the hallway, this uncomfortable place of the Hanged Man.  And the truth may be that the Chariot is what I have to embody, the eye of the hurricane as it moves across the land.  That place of stillness amid activity.  Some channels are saying as much, and the theme of silence has been operating more in my life. 

Anyway, my coping with denial right now is about others’ choosing not to look and finding acceptance where I can.  People don’t agree with me–it’s a free … well…?  What can I say here?  (Shrugging my shoulders and silently thinking “meh!”)

Radiate blessings and ask the Goddess and Mother Earth to connect me with others of like mind.  At least I’m going to where it’s warm during Columbus Day weekend, though some ominous rumblings may or may not interfere with that.  I just add my prayers in to ask the deities and guides to interfere for a bit more time.  If it be thy will. 

I will fashion myself as best I can to the curious realities emerging…

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