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Death thoughts vs soul connection October 2, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
Tags: , , ,

In reading C. Myss’s Entering the Castle, where she starts getting into each of the rooms of the various mansions in the Interior Castle as mapped out by Teresa D’Avila, I got a hit today about something.  That when I start to allow fear to operate in my head and in my heart, that I disconnect from my souls.  Andu (my fetch), the talker and the God-self want me to stay in alignment with them, and to stay in connection, but sometimes I’ll read something on the Internet or overhear people talking about this, that or another thing, and I’ll feel “Oh, please just kill me.  Please cause my death, someone, some thing, and now!” 

And it’s in those moments that I feel a momentary loss of soul connection.  Aware of this now, I realize I have a tool to bring me back, and that’s to say “What about my soul, again?”  This has been something that has hung around me for a while, and I think that a part of it is that there are aspects of my personality that are “old” in the sense that they no longer work for me.  Not just guilt, shame, fear, self-sabotage, poverty/scarcity consciousness, etc.  But also character flaws such as procrastination and a sense of unjustified entitlement.  Arrogance sometimes arises, often as a counteractive to shame.  Neither represents a right frame for positive pride (humility) to enter.

This pertains to thoughts of my own death, mind you.  There’s the whole notion of “take this cup from me” wherein I would forego whatever suffering might be in store, not only for me, but for quite a few of us.  Thinking about others’ deaths is not the same thing.  If I were to want others to die, that might qualify, even if it were in the context of thoughts on justice.  I’m not sure what the just thing is to do with the windigos out there, on the rampage in our culture that is increasingly as fragile as fine china.  Their bodies have been the repositories for their supremely selfish and destructive consciousness.  But taking it out on those bodies hurts all of us, not just the miscreants.  And there are those who would argue that attempting to destroy these entities who occupy these bodies is a continuation of these practices.

I don’t know what the answer is to that, though our ancestors had the simple and elegant solution when confronted by single cases of psychic vampiry and that was to push these people off a cliff if they got out of hand.  Lions in the wild encounter this sometimes in their prides, and they will set upon a cat gone windigo and killing from the herd of gazelles simply because they like killing more than surviving. 

Scott Peck’s notion that this is a medical problem may hold some water.  But short of suspending their animation while we get science to find an antidote seems too far-fetched.  Isolating these people or perhaps even putting them all in the same place in a big open room with all sorts of tools for offing each other might be the best option–let them use the disease to rid humanity of the problem?  It’s an idea.  It’s a conundrum.

I got off topic there, but the issue of the soul is a many faceted jewel, and it sparks all sorts of thoughts, many of them dark.  Because the soul prefers the dark, the cool, the troublesome to the light, the hot, the simple and direct.  (In my experience at least.)

So I have another way to remember a soul connection each day.  All sorts of tools come my way.  And m grateful.



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