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Creativity and Frustration September 16, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.

Not often I put up two blog posts in one day, but I just needed to voice a bit of frustration at this moment.  There are times when I feel that the oppression that sometimes presses in upon me forces me to catch my breath.  Today I’m having one of those moments.  Corresponding to this, I feel a sort of pressure behind my eyes, that I associate with allergies and hay fever.  When I woke up this morning, I felt two things–one was a longing for my partner, and the other was this same pressure.  This morning it manifested with an accompanying feeling of nausea, but as of this moment, I don’t feel that.  Just a sense of suffocation on an emotional and spiritual and etheric level.

And part of it is that I really want to show up to some writing in the next couple of days.  I’m attempting to manifest a humor-filled short play for an upcoming evening of short comic works.  I’ve done serious things before, but I really hanker after creating something funny, just like the other people in our troupe.  Sometimes there has been some real magic that has been created under the auspices of Bedford Falls Players.  I have seen and participated in some delightful works.  Though I’m wondering if I ought not to be the entertainment between the acts instead, with my Calling South technique.  The people who attend Bedford Falls have never seen me do my body percussion thing.

Perhas that is what I need to do instead?  I’ll have to cogitate on that.

Anyway, I just needed to put it out there that I am feeling creatively blocked as far as theater work goes, and perhaps that is just as well.  I do feel I am being called to something different and I feel scared about it.  This music thing–I’m really not in any kind of control over it.  Sometimes it rides me and that’s great, but it’s even more fickle than the theater muses. 

Guess I just need to get to know which spirits are being activated when the music comes forth.  And I just figured out a way I can apprehend that.  Hmmmm…..



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