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Synchronicities plus the Hudson River July 16, 2008

Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.
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Cool synchronicities seem to be abounding around me.  About a month ago, I performed a piece of “Adult Children’s Theater” at Art on Lark here in Albany.  Something I learned about my piece (the then-working title: “Putting Theater on the Chair”) was that when I engaged with the spirit of play, I had the audience’s attention.  And lately, I’ve become aware of the themes of freedom and play in my life, and how absolutely scary they are. 

I’ve never been free, at least not since sometime before the dawn of my consciousness.  In therapy, I encountered the two-year-old wolfling, the exuberant and anarchic cub who still exists inside me, though there are now 42 “Lupo-rings” (as opposed to tree-rings) separating the Frostwolf T’Firerose of today from the 2 year old one.  It occurred to me the other day that if I pray freedom as I have been doing, what exactly is it I’m really praying into being?  If I got fired from my job I would have a “freedom” of one sort, but somehow I’m pretty sure that’s not what I desire.

I read in Charles Eisenstein’s The Ascent of Humanity that folks at the Sudbury School look at us adults as arrested children.  The work of Janet G. Woititz and the other pioneers in adult-children of alcoholics/addicts research commented that most people who were raised in addiction-rife homes are emotional children, arrested at a certain age.  Like W, for example, seems to have been arrested at that 2 year-old stage.  Or perhaps even earlier!  My mother seems to have been arrested at age 7, while my father I’d say was between 2 and 5. 

In my therapy from six or seven years ago, I encountered my various emotional selves and discovered my inner 5 year-old was already shut down.  When I lost the 110 pounds, I started the reclaiming project for the various parts of my soul that had been progressively chopped off over the years, some of which have been wonderfully resistant (like my gayness for example) and others have had stealth and resourcefulness on their side (my magickal elements).  But aspects of my masculinity and my divine connection to all that is have been attacked mercilessly and they have seemed to wilt under the stress and strain.  They’ve not disappeared, but they are hidden and I call these elements back.

Anyway, I was writing in my journal a new draft of the piece and started musing about a synchronicity of sorts that has not failed to capture my attention.  Life can sometimes have dream logic, and in this case it plays out with the names of towns in Massachusetts where my teacher lives.  To get to her house, my partner and I have to travel on I-90 through various townships in the Berkshires and Central Mass.  Among those towns are Montgomery and Russell, and then we turn left on Route 5 where it says “Holyoke.”  Well.  I had a crush on a guy in high school whose name included both of the town names we drive through, and then I had a 2nd crush on a fellow in Seattle whose last name was Holyoke.  And all three of us share the same coloring–brown hair, blue eyes, fair but tannable skin.  I wrote in my journal, “We’re all 3 King of Cups sorts of guys,” just as the door to the courtyard of the cafe in which I was journaling flew open.  The radio was playing The Police’s “King of Pain”.

From their album Synchronicity.

Interesting!

(And I have some mysterious connection to the lead singer of that group through Hades and labyrinths which I trust will some day be revealed to me, but as of yet… Crickets.)

Today’s synchronicity was in Riverview Park by the Hudson.  I prayed freedom and play to the Hudson, to the fragrant breezes blowing off the water, to the tree whose shade protected me from too much sun, to the earth beneath my feet and to the sun as well.  Then I was off again, writing about adult children’s theater, freedom and play.  I see it as part of “The Work of This God Frostwolf T’Firerose” to enter into transformative (trance-formative) relationships with audiences in a venue called “Adult Children’s Theater” that will put the focus on the individual audience members as the “protagonist” of the play unfolding around them.  That I am enacting a character that is transacting healing with the audience-lead character, to lead them into some important spiritually healing choice.

Just then, the Albany Aquaducks Boat trundled by and there were a bunch of kids on it wearing orange shirts.  (Orange and yellow were my 2 favorite colors as a child.  Today, I love goldenrod, buttercup and other variations on the combination of those 2 primordial colors.)  The tour guide was talking about the Hudson and the name of the river that the Haudenosaunee (I think–it could have been the Lenape or the Algonquin or the Micmac) had for it. She pronounced it in a different way than what it looks like on paper, but I know it as “Mahicanituck”.  She then said it meant “River that Flows Both Ways.”  Sort of like not only my understanding of my body as a mirror image of the World Tree, the anima mundi, but also with the subject of my writing.  Adult Children’s Theater needs to flow back and forth between the audience and the performers.  It needs to include a more active role for the audience in the creation of a “drama” unfolding.

Now I’m remembering another dream I had from last week, where 3 Orishas and the central power of the Yoruba/Lucumi etc. Olodumare announced themselves to me.  I had Obatala, Oxumare and Orunmila enter the picture and they told me a few things.  I realize that the dream which was in 5 parts, actually was referring to something much larger than what I initially thought.  And that the first crush I mentioned was a part of it.

(Part of me wonders if I need to try and track this fellow down, though I wouldn’t know what to say or where to begin.  Maybe I just need to sing him the song I wrote?)

I’m posting this out of some odd faith that something will come from it.  Quien sabe a donde volvara…

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Comments»

1. funnygirl - August 7, 2008

your blog is getting better )

2. frostwolftfirerose - August 8, 2008

Thank you for your kind words. I love this region and I want to express my admiration for it.


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