Introduction to my Doom Sonnets Volume September 30, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, Personal Journey, doom sonnets.Tags: doom sonnets, poetry, stoopid 'Merkkkans, vEmpire
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I’ve been instructed to make it so, to make my volume Doom Sonnets for After the vEmpire a published reality. In any case, here’s my Introduction.
Bring it on, I say, The End of the World As We Know It (aka “TEOTWAWKI”)! Let’s have a par-tay.
I realize some people will spraaaaawk at me (in other words, spout some drivel to which I would say “May I repeat back to you what I hear you saying? You’re saying ‘Spraaaaaaaaaawk Sprawk Sprawk Sprawk Sprawk’ (with appropriate finger-pointing, of course), “Sprawk Spraaaaaaaawk Spraaaaaaaawwwwwk!’ Does that sum it up? Oh, I forgot the other part—‘You see these three fingers pointing back at me? Because I’m not doing my work? Well, you just ignore those asswipe, and focus on my beautiful distracting index finger. I’m going to make you pay 3-card belief monte whether you like it or not, bub! My beautiful index finger points at YOU because you’re only 1/3 of the jerk that I am. So I’m pulling lazy rank on you, and you’re gonna get it!’ Yes, I think that about sums it up. Don’t you?”
And yes, the anger does course through me. There is outrage in these words. A transformative outrage that is as much about the spraaaawker in me as it is in you and the Sarah (Lee?) Palins and Billy Kristols of this world. They are another me, as are you. Not in an arrogant sense, mind you, but in the Dean Radin sense that we are all entangled.
The word “Doom” in these pages is in part ironical in its usage. Believe it or not, I’m really rather an optimist and quite hopeful about this odd moment in time. My journey toward this place of bemused psychological embrace of this current era has been a convoluted one.
Like many people, I have wrestled with various addictions. One might say that in addition to some of the other terms bandied about for the American Empire™ such as “kyriarchy,” “pathocracy,” “thugocracy,” “kakistocracy” (government by the worst elements) and my own terms vEmpire and necronomy, that we live in an addictocracy. The inmates have long run the asylum, and who better to stand as its emblem than Dick Cheney? I mean, really!
On all sorts of websites I log into, there’s a lot of talk about how all these dark forces are scattering to the winds. The Empire of Vampires (hence “vEmpire”) is suffering from an onslaught of sunlight, and cunts[1] in mid-cunting of some unsuspecting victims’ life energy, combust in the sun’s warm and golden rays. I too am hopeful of this process of light hitting vampires full front continuing unabated.
But that means the vampire inside is also feeling it. I have come to see my etheric self as a semi-permeable membrane, and when things are all right and running smoothly, very little gets attached. I can let irritants go through me with ease. Now, that doesn’t happen often, at least not without assistance. I must tend to a spiritual practice that helps me to identify and release the toxins that hold me back, pin me on the mat with paralyzing rage or despair or the desire to not exist. And I need to talk things through sometimes. Yes, I do have a therapist. And I do have a religion that pushes me onward, and deeper into surrender. I wish to fully surrender into ecstasy and sexual potency. But I still get stuck in powerless anger and suffering. And some of that is supposed to happen, I realize.
Aren’t you feeling that way these days, at least off-and-on? No? Then for God Herself’s sake, put this book back! These words will be LOST on your sorry ass!
But for those of you who empathize, who dream of a life where you can really be your true and naked self—even literally to the point of walking down to the corner shop in your birthday suit and not batting an eye—and who wish to affirm the authentic Self in each person, each animal, each object you encounter, you may still not want to look through the poems on these pages. There is humor in them—check out Doom Sonnet #11 for starters. And there are other poems in here that offer a strange celebration of this life.
But there is a wistful recognition, my friends, that the world we grew up is no longer. Whether you’re like me, a Generation X “post-Kennedy’ (by 3 months) birthday fellow who grew up listening to The Police, Styx, and Soft Cell, for example; or someone in their 30s today, who was more into EMF and Alanis Morisette in their high school days, or someone now into Snow Patrol, etc., you might be feeling a similar sort of nostalgia for 2008 already. In my opinion, the road to hell in these now United In Name Only States o’Merica (UINOSM) was fully embraced with the election of Ronald Reagan in 1980. Jimmy Carter’s tepid presidency seems to have been the end of something or other, alas something that is not much missed. The rumblings for the Reagan “Party and After-Party of the UNIOSM” began long ago, probably way back during the corporatalitarian tantrums of the Gilded Age some 150 years ago. But the composite Enlightenment-Iroquois Nation inspired experiment loosely labeled “America” was a model easily compromised.
Robert Pirsig in Lila, his follow-up to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance observed that it was actually the Haudenosaunee vision of a working governance structure that attracted thousands of immigrants here, whether they knew it or not. The natives of these shores were still in touch with aspects of human nature that have been only partially buried in our psyches by the coarse and papered-over attempts at socializing and breaking us into smaller and fractured pictures of our true Selves, to make us “fit” to live in urban/suburban infernos. Deep in the way-back machine of our DNA, we all have memories of living close to the land. While that wasn’t always easy, we had some deeper satisfactions of feeling held in divine hands as evidenced by nature’s gifts. The natives here stirred those remembrances, but as always with vEmpire, these ideas and longings must be squelched so that …. Well, “we must make steady progress, progress, progressprogressspraaaaaaaawk-ress” and you get the picture.
The thugs of our kakistocracy wear a lot of different plumages. You will see some evidenced in the Shakespearean and Petrarchan sonnets herein, as well as in some of the remaining poems that fill the rest of this little volume. We all probably know someone who is a local version of Glenn Beck. Heck, here in Troy, New York[2], we have an administration filled with whackos! And just like with those “magnificent men in their flying machines,” we enjoy watching the clowns in their cars galumphing about “so serious” as they careen about with their chins jutting out leading man style, and telling the rest of us where to get off.
Some would sit up alarmed that people such as this hold public office. Has it not always been thus, however? There have always been the obstreperous and the pathocratic. The Algonquins had a words for this sort of person: “windigo” which loosely translates to either “vampire” or “cannibal.” It gets to be difficult sometimes to pick out those who are pushing evil policies from those who serve as the useful idiots, the minions who whore themselves out so cheaply and completely. And yes, there clearly is danger afoot, though … it feels quite a bit Disney if you ask me. The malevolence has a decided “Captain Hook” feel. And having been cast in a production of Peter Pan myself, I can say that it’s a fun part to play!
I do get a kick out of their insanity, much in the same way my mother and her brothers would enjoy telling stories about their drunk dad, and my grandfather Cliff Maxson. He was an abusive, belligerent drunk, filled with all sorts of hate and biliousness, and yet also a wounded fellow who had seen quite a load of disappointment. And Grandpa Cliff was a terror to his children and to his wife. Near the end of his life, he got so violent with my Grandmother, that my uncles had to get involved. The man got so apoplectic with rage, he gave himself a stroke.
Devils Lake, North Dakota did not rearrange itself to suit the town drunk. Likewise, as Franklin Schaeffer observed on the Rachel Maddow show, we don’t rearrange ourselves to suit the village idiots. Having said that, even though I try not to coddle weakness, I do see that it’s not up to me to cast the Spraaaawkers to the side. Just as I went through and continue to undergo transformations, people can and do slowly wake up to their addictive insanities, and start to ask the really important question:
What sort of life do I want for myself and my relatives and loved ones to lead, anyway?
So, these doom sonnets are as much about an end as they are a beginning. In these 14 line ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG and ABBA-ABBA-CDE-CDE poems, you will find a number of difficult observations as well as some bemusement and some genuine dreaming for a better life for us all.
Hopefully some of you will be inspired to take action or to write your own post-Doom sonnets or plays or filmscripts or youtube videos or what have you.
I feel a glorious new world is near. There will be labor pangs however. It won’t be an easy birth, not that this sort of thing is ever easy. Let us pray that nature brings us through it all with as little difficulty as possible.
[1] I know some people will find this language offensive. But rest assured in “Frostwolf-ese” the c-word has a different meaning than the more common parlance. Those who know me get sick of this, but I use the “c-word” in a way that is more like the British usage, though it’s also a mite different. Through the processes of onomatopoeia and synecdoche, (q.v.), I like to use this analogy: cunt is to vampire as grunt is to peon. I’m sure educated people will understand the syllogism, even if they find it a mite disconcerting.
[2] My partner Joseph Dalton & I have a little joke about our three Hudson-Mohawk Valley cities thus: “Albany is ugly, Troy is half-assed, and Schenectady is corrupt.” Those of you who live here, might smile wryly with this pithy sentiment.
Recovery Writings from a Retreat September 29, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Mystical, Personal Journey.Tags: Evil White Powders (Sugar & Flour), humility, humus-person, recovery, Star Goddess
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I wrote these two reflections during a recent weekend-long retreat for the food fellowship of which I’m a part. I’ve edited it slightly for your purview, but some people found it helpful.
Faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life. My heart learned what my mind never could. Roots of reality would hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us or which we would use to destroy ourselves. This is a way of life, I had to be fully engaged. There was power, strength, safety and life in numbers.
This is a way of life affecting my entire being; but I discover myself through the fellowship lighting the way toward faith in God Herself, the Originating Mystery. Some phrases I heard today filled the cup of inspiration.
“Faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life.” Other people have held out their lanterns and gently suggested pathways through life’s thickets. They are a part of the great chain of being, of the web of interconnections linking us all together. The Mayans greet each other with the greeting “I am another yourself.” When faith and grace descend in my life, I no longer carry a burden by myself.
“My heart learned what my mind never could.” I heard someone say this morning that people can say the same message over and over again but not until I’m ready and the right messenger arrives will I be able to “get it.” I see this happen with other people as they let go of their caterpillar ways and enter into recovery’s chrysalis, at some point revealing the butterfly soul in development. It’s a constant process. The heart picks these things up and they hold fast.
“Roots of reality would hold fast despite the high winds of forces which could destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves.” It’s one humus-person among others. I hold the possibility of many roots growing into this delicious earth. This fellowship brings forth a garden of possibility that previously we never had access to. Only in our dreams which were pallid images of the true reality indeed. The garden is within, it is amongst our number, expands exponentially out into the cosmos and brings back in eternal return if we but open to the mystery. So often it is just right there tantalizing us. We keep up the effort and as other start to burst forth, we can take inspiration on our own individual path of wholeness which it turns out belongs as much to you, to the neighborhood, to the region, to the continent, to Mother Earth and to Mother Universe Herself. We keep it as we give it away, free osmotic interchange of grace, surrender and love in tandem with sacred law.
****
The word humility has leapt out of all the words I’ve heard today. I have recently come to see that to be humble is to be a “Humus-person,” a person of the soil. Before this fellowship, I had a contempt for so much in my life. I was far from humble. I would sometimes emulate humility, and it would arise in my life in surprising but fleeting moments, not to be sustained for any significant duration. I had no idea just how far off the beam I was. Like many people, humility struck me as a sign of slavering and scraping servility. I only had as models of so-called humble people of these wraiths who seemed to be little more than balls of resentments and control issues. Why would I want that?
The Evil White Powders (“EWP”) of sugar and flour had pretty much skewed any real perspective on humility as it really manifests. In working the Steps – particularly 6 and 7 – I’ve found that humility – being a humus-person – involves a paradox. I have come to see humility as healthy pride, an acknowledgement of assets as well as liabilities. When we go to a carpenter, we want to work with someone who knows wood, who has skills with construction and putting things together. To make structures that are beautiful and sturdy. We want someone who holds enough authority in herself to say “I can do this.” We would avoid a person who would not come forth and say how trained he is. Whether it was out of shame that she was not worth the effort or the opposite, presenting an arrogance that promises a lot but delivers little. Humility steers a middle path. I know I can’t stay abstinent by myself. I come together with EWP-free people to maintain this profligate and fecund stream of Divine Providence.
Examining My Commitments September 28, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: Energy, housecleaning, Mercury retrograde
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Mercury stations direct tomorrow. This has been an extremely stressful time, not only for me but for most people I know for some reason. And so many of us have been forgetful! Oh, my stars! It’s been a real dither much of the time to remember what I’ve been supposed to do, and when I was supposed to do it.
Last Friday, for example, I was looking forward to seeing Andrew Harvey up at Spirit Hollow. Unfortunately for my partner and I, there was a session with my therapist I had scheduled for 5 p.m. that day, and I didn’t realize the talk began at 7, and we still hadn’t eaten dinner. We’re both terrors when we’ve not eaten.
We ended up doing something else and that worked out fine. But it’s been like that.
Also, I’ve been feeling really unmotivated to do just about anything. I’m not sure what is so special about a fall Merc retro, but it seemed to take what is normally a low-grade feeling and swell it to 11.
And I got pushback, and it hurt major league. All last week, I was on the verge of tears. I did manage to shed a few here and there. It’s better now, and I’ve also been adding in a daily sacred intention, simply to remember I’m bathing in the sacred at all times.
Still, as part of this I’m looking at all of my commitments and asking “Does this give me energy? Is it worth the energy I invest for what returns come back?” There are things that I won’t ask the question on right now. I know the answer, and I pray for solutions thereto. There are other things where I periodically feel depleted, and other times I feel at the top of the world. Manic-depressive sorts of energies. Are those worth it? There are other things too that I feel that, even if I do them poorly, I get energy from the activities. There’s a lot more to things than meets the eye.
I’m not ready to cast anything to the side, but I am in a house-cleaning mood right now. And that always feels good.
Weird-Ass Mercury Retrograde September 24, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: doom sonnet volume, Mercury retrograde, poetry
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I never would have pegged a Libra-back to Virgo Mercury retro to be so … AWFUL, but there you have it.
I wanted to perform a ritual for my cat Kitzel who passed last year. (waaah.) It’s had to be postponed twice, the first time because I couldn’t get into my partner’s backyard and the second, strangely due to my other cat Samson who escaped the backyard yesterday. There was another cat which had climbed into my yard, somehow. Samson attacked the Big Ugly, and chased it out. But he followed Big Ugly somewhere, I know not where. All I know is that when I was able to get out into the alley, they were nowhere to be seen.
Samson returned to me this morning. Whew. But still.
Work has been a bitch. Interpersonal stuff has been difficult of late. It’s been difficult to rise above it. I feel overwhelmed, put-upon, stressed. And it’s all normal stuff. A temporary oversensitivity? I don’t know.
My scalp is also bothering me too. Think I need to break down and head to the MD for this. Wonder if there’s something more to it.
Good news though, is that I’m putting together the Doom Sonnets with some other material and I’ve hit upon a fun structure. The number 55 was hard and fast. I added 24 other pieces (including 4 monologues). 78 + 1, the last one being my own personal tarot card reflection. The 78 refers to the tarot. 55 + 1 for the minors, and 22+1 for the majors. Now it’s time to work on an introduction.
Anyway, that’s close to being ready for a publisher. Yea.
Doom Sonnets #53-55 September 22, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: vEmpire, poetry, doom sonnets, Autumn Equinox, Green Man
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I’ve been counseled by a force much larger than me that these will be the last Doom Sonnets for awhile. Perhaps there will be a need for another volume? I’m not sure, but I’m going to have 55 Doom Sonnets and 24 other poems to create a sort of “Poetic Tarot” for these times.
I know that 55 + 24 = 79, which means there’s an extra card. I have started to create a tarot card for myself, a major trump XXIII. And that’s part of who I am, really. Senor Quirqui! Anyway, without further adieu…
#53 (Petrarchan)
What sort of world do we wish will emerge?
And what are you willing to sacrifice
so your yearned for dream might materialize?
These are the strong questions which must needs urge
us each one inventory ourselves, purge
from our environments unneeded ties
shackling us, these planted percepts unwise
for our continued existence. Disgorge
such vEmpire thoughts! Get down to tasks at hand!
Do you know your neighbors’ names, much less trust
them? What skills has your heart desired to learn?
To grow your food, have access to rich land?
These are the essential foci, the true must
haves to stoke inner flames, keep them a-burn.
#54 (Petrarchan)
Blood. Both oxygenated, anemic
sing out the call. Hear his bellow? Green Man’s
hollering to us “Are you done yet, clans
of sheltered fraidy-cats? Epidemic
of woes, grief hurricanes in bulimic
waves crest overhead. Experts’ feeble plans
combust balsa quick ahead of black swans
resistant to inorganic chemic
manipulations. Yes, I know you well
enough. The time to turn your heads soilwards
falls nigh, like night’s quick blade at dusk. Your veins
and arteries crave my wisdom. Ring bell
to call forth your relations all, come towards
your tribes now forming. See? I broke your chains!”
#55 (“Inverse Petrarchan” – sestet first, then octavo!)
Autumn Equinox, Mabon leaves brighter
colors, with light’s gradual darkening
kindles wistful blaze inside. Somehow fits
this should be day to round this volume, slighter
than what others would create. Guardian
cosmic, larger than I, guides poet’s wits
to end these sonnets “doomy” with a twist.
Upending expected formats proudly
serves larger purpose well, for roundly
rejecting current patterns, smashing fist
into brittle structures rend’ring them grist
healthy mills to renew ancient paths, loudly
if it must be loud. Test these true, soundly.
Perhaps our faery brethren will ’gain coalesce…
Doom Sonnets #50-52 September 21, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: doom sonnets, necronomy, poetry, vEmpire
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#50
Why didn’t this thought emerge before now?
Of course Mater Ceres watches over
this process of dissolution! The flow
of goodbye energy builds an ever
expansive pustule and will soon implode.
Delicate membrane can but withstand
smaller punctures, and whirlwinds ruthless, bold
Category 5 strength, hit greenish land
woefully unprepared for such onslaught.
Gentle Goddess Demeter, Grain Mother
grants glad assistance to we whose hearts wrought
in fires of weeping grief, now watch brother
slay father, teacher fight student, to not
turn away in fearful woe or contempt
but instead face these times, love’s power intact.
#51 (Petrarchan)
How often have we partaken delights
that after continued exposure, lacked
original pleasure’s spark, but which backed
us into corners full imagined frights?
To be sure, we may have listened to lights
more wise than we, as eagerly we jacked
ourselves into the intense feelings, packed
as they were to bursting, then those nights
of hollow haunting, hovering terrors.
Mmmm…. Is this plight of boozer, compulsive
eater, junky, not self-same as our full
collective focus riddled with errors
lurching us deeper into repulsive
acts? That we do not indeed our Selves rule?
(Can we wake from these addictions’ rapacious
”credit,” in God Herself’s domain capacious?)
#52 (Petrarchan)
Now that understanding has dawned—vEmpire’s end
wide view, full frontal, what’s in our faces
we must accept. Inevitable. What graces,
what actions now call us? Time to bend
our hearts to our hearts. Relationships we mend
with our best talents. Our embraces
focus our love toward these luscious places
providing us beauty and strength. Depend
we not on mediation twixt the soil
and our bodies! Nation-state heydays long
passed into history. Can afford
no longer absent landlords civil. loyal
no more to far-off centers singing song
”fake-riotic” Regions will rule ’cross board.
(Secession? Maybe. But be not nervous–
Gaia may demand political service.)
Troy musings September 18, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: Albany Times-Union, Aradia, Charles Leland, Diana, Downtown Troy, Hanover New Hampshire, Julia Cameron, Lansingburgh, Little Italy (Troy), morning pages, Osgood Neighborhood (Troy), RPI, Sage Neighborhood (Troy), spiritual microclimates, Troy New York, Washington Park (Troy)
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This morning, as I was involved in my spiritual practice which includes “morning pages” (per Julia Cameron), I was musing about the various neighborhoods of Troy, where I live. Where I’m putting down roots. I’ve noted elsewhere that Little Italy has about it the spirit of the Witch Goddes Diana, who in Roman mythology is also the Lunar and Hunt Goddess. The Greeks and Romans both desexualized Diana/Artemis, turning her into a virgin. To the witches however, she had a lover named Lucifer. The Light-Bringer. Aradia, The Gospel of Witches by Charles Leland goes into further detail about stregheria. But Diana is quite potent where I live. She works with the local deities of the neighborhood and region, though their partnership is frequently tempestuous.
I was letting my heart’s eye drift to the other neighborhoods of Troy. For example, Downtown Troy feels like a casual-cosmopolitan guy. The Pawling/Emma Willard area feels “female elegant rogue,” sort of like the Glenn Close character in Dangerous Liaisons. Only more Miss Manners, I guess. Someone who’s eager for culture, but fickle and can decide you’re not worthy on a dime. The Washington Park area feels also female, but bustling, maternal, busy, and involved. Perhaps a bit too much, but not maliciously. She’s eager and fun. The Sage area feels a bit apart. I sense that the Hudson River has quite a wonderful relationship with this spirit, and he feels quite content therewith. He doesn’t really participate with the other nabe spirits, again not out of shame or malice. Just not into it.
Osgood feels a bit of a climber energy. It feels like it tries a tad too hard, that on some level Osgood is sort of like Albany in the sense that it’s a “second tier neighborhood.” It desperately doesn’t want to believe this but it does. Perhaps a number of people derided the area and it took it to heart, and Osgood needs a bit of healing. But it has to start within, and there are people there who are manifesting that. It’s also a border region, for South Troy feels a mite chaotic and sometimes violent.
What little I’ve been to RPI, it feels clean and crisp. Not all college areas feel that way. When I was in Hanover, N.H. in college, I certainly didn’t feel it was clean and crisp. There was a hostility that hung in the air that knew all sorts of divisions. The last time I was there, it felt quite different. Calmer, a bit more integrated. How that happened, I’d be curious to discover.
HVCC area feels, well, sterile-corporate. I can’t really shake that feeling, alas. Hope it changes, but HVCC and the shoppette across the street are part of that culture. Hoosick Street east of RPI has the same feeling.
North of Hoosick–a mess! A glorious mess. Parts of it are delectable energy, and parts of it are rough. And I would also like to explore Lansingburgh a bit more. That area and the Oakwood Cemetery/Frear Park area fascinate me. Frear Park I find a tad boring, to be honest. But there’s an energy there that’s different too.
In any case, Troy was also the subject of an editorial in today’s Times-Union. The Mayor recently turned down a big grant from the government relative to the building of a homeless shelter only a half-block away from me in Little Italy. I don’t know how to read the mayor, other than to say he is not the one holding the reins really. He may have the title, but the man is a figurehead IMHO. Other cuntic forces are behind the fellow. The editorial slammed the administration for its callousness, which is par for the course with this half-assed bunch. It all reeks of arrogance and tit-for-tat pettiness.
That being said, I think H.T. does have a major problem with poor people. My partner once offered to the Mayor praise to Troy for its affordable housing, and our psychic vampire mayor sneered and said he hoped that would soon be changing. Talk about extractive cuntishness!
That was an example of vEmpire consciousness letting it be known, “I’m here to suck your blood, sheeple!” Reading between the lines of the editorial, energetically I would agree that this will come back to bite these necronomists in the ass. And I’ll be smiling when it happens.
It’s funny to watch Mayor Scrooge and his henchmen “screwges” work their cuntics. (Ha. antics + cunt= cuntics! T. Hee.) But we Civ Addicts have no one but ourselves to blame. We haven’t quite gotten to a level of leadership where our leaders are but trusted servants who do not govern. Some would say this is a pipe dream, but I’m not so sure.
The way our politics is run is that it is a politics. It is not service, it is about “I’z gonna gitz me MAHNZ!” There’s a disconnect in our culture that has equated corporatism/capitalist authoritarianism (what political scientists call “fascism,” as opposed to people who just spout the word) with “democracy” and the “republic.” There’s also a disconnect between the appropriate roles of authority (I need to eschew the word “government” here for the time being) and capitalism as well. A supreme irony is how many of the people agitating against the government complain about the underfunded transit systems that transport them to their protests and buses breaking down or arriving a half-hour late or don’t arrive at all. In Troy, there was an example of this recently when there was an election about funding the library. For some reason the ballot measure was split between authorizing a charter for one initiative then funding it with the other. The Library had to campaign for 2 initiatives rather than one. It won the conceptual one (gee, thanks) but the funding one went down to failure. The opposition’s big mouth lives in Lansingburgh. The Library had to shut down two branches due to the funding measure failing.
Poetic justice: One of those was the Lansingburgh branch. The asshat who campaigned against it complained that the Library were shutting it down because they didn’t know how to raise funds. Who knows WTF that means?
Jody and I have this running joke btw. We are constantly observing a general trend on projects started within each of the 3 cities of the Capital Region, which I share, but from a place of affection and bemusement:
“Albany is Ugly,Troy is Half-Assed and Schenectady is Corrupt.”
Your trusted servant in these transition times,
Frostwolf T’Firerose!
Third Tradition & TEOTWAWKI September 18, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, Personal Journey.Tags: Civiliization Anonymous, Twelve steps, Twelve Traditions
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“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop [insert addiction here].”
Basically, what this tradition stresses is that the membership needs to be open to as wide a net as possible. The founders of AA, when they started to realize the pervasiveness of the problem of alcoholism, and then as the model spread to counter other spiritual maladies, they recognized that it required the self-definition aspect. However, if the addict in question is anything like myself, she will need some convincing. When I started my stints in two different programs, I knew on some level I needed to be there. I just felt “home.” With the food program, I was kicking-and-screaming inside. I just HATED the notion that I couldn’t control my eating. But I saw that the people in the rooms had something I wanted, and that kept me coming back.
This tradition allows someone like me, the person who doesn’t immediately identify, the option of staying there along with the other people in the room who have ID’d themselves as suffering from the mental, physical and spiritual dis-Ease of addiction.
With this program in my mind’s eye, I see that this tradition needs to be pretty much open to anyone who’s opened their eyes to the way things are. There are many seminal texts that can help open those eyes, from the poetry of Rumi and William Stafford, to websites such as Carolyn Baker’s, books by Derrick Jensen, Thomas Berry, Philip K. Dick, Octavia Butler and many others… Pretty much anyone who has identified themselves as a nationality or a “sectual preference” such as Baptist or Sunni or Orthodox for example (as opposed to a tribal group), can call themselves a member of Civilization Anonymous. Anyone who identifies with Charlie Brown running for Lucy’s inevitably withdrawn football, who can’t seem to walk away from shaming, belongs in these rooms. We can help each other walk past the cuntic ones, and honor them in the process.
And the other thing about this tradtion: We don’t have to do anything perfectly. We can help each other through this. These traditions remind us that “Together we can.” That No One of Us Is Smarter Than ALL of Us. No one is going to kick us out of Civilization Anonymous if we have the desire to stop being a party to our own self-hate and the oppression of our connections to one another, to the land, to other species, to the elements, to the cosmic birthright we all share.
There is no need to deprive the benefits of a group such as this from anyone with that sincere desire to heal themselves and give it away so that they can keep it. The circuit/current/flow/stream must continue and spread. Health doesn’t just stay in a box, it travels.
Doom Sonnet #49 and … whatnot September 17, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, doom sonnets.Tags: Dan Brown, doom sonnets, poetry, Prayer, The Lost Symbol, vEmpire
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#49
Let’s hear it for the Sun God: Ra! Ra! Ra!!!
Yea, do sunlight’s warm rays light up vEmpire’s
Disensouled, lodged firm in this realm of blah.
Sol sets entities ablaze—grandest pyres!
A wave of self-inflicted Gunshot wounds
overtakes the likely suspects. Should pity
come forth from me? Sadness rests as balloons
of egos pop left, deflate right. What shitty
legacies they leave, no? A festering guilt
doth eat at their conscience. Not psychopath
enough these, though to be fair some were built
up to take a public fall. A sick math
that. But this windigo kingdom can’t last
much longer. Watch Sowilu burn them fast.
*****
Lots of activity in my life today. Ah, Mercury Retrograde at a law firm. Things always get crazy, donchaknow!
I will make an attempt to write a book review of Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol in the next few days. I must say, he certainly knows how to keep a story moving.
Also, it seems that a prayer of mine is finding answers in myriad ways, and I will have to blog about it at length. But let me just say this: It seems my idea of “Civilization Anonymous” might be coming to fruition. Yea! I will be eager to blog about this and probably will start in the next week or two.
Also, I will return to my Tradition work. If anyone’s interested…
Doom Sonnets #46 – 48 September 16, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: doom sonnets, great sorting, Great Unraveling, poetry, vEmpire, workplaces
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#46
I’ve come to understand there’s only one
prayer that works: “May You Know God’s Will For You.”
Another way to say this prayer that’s fun?
“May sexual potency increase pour vous.”
It may seem to be wasted on Rudies.
I’d argue differently. The lies on their brains
need the healing blue-flame sex for booties
in dire need of Star Goddess love! Rains
of desire and joyous release can cleanse
so much detritus left by hate binges,
their rages toward projections of offense
taken by one’s mere existence. Hinges
may come off the doorframes, and high time too!
Then clear ground can sprout innocence anew.
#47
Could this Great Unraveling of collective
consciousness ready us for Grand Separation
much like Sorting Hat, viewing paths objective
for the budding and eager magician
sitting under its ancient circumference
and determining whether Gryffindor
or Slytherin for talents’ emergence?
Witnessing hatred’s blazing, mad tinder
that finds exaltations most public, screened
by millions these days, I can’t but wonder
whether there is information’s being gleaned
from each, as humanity asunder
is torn and passions pull Moms here, mothers
there, to create new worlds with new brothers…
#48
O.K. Each day I sit in cubicle
hell, wait for bosses to give me the work
I’m paid to accomplish. The cynical
path’s temptations call to me. Yes, they lurk
inside micromanagers’ nervous eyes,
or inside stealthy psychopaths, vEmpire’s
heroes, in ruthless conquistador guise
plund’ring riches, necronomic fire.
Our children’s untapped vigor, streams wealth
from futures once bright, now mortgaged away
may stir yet, sleeping giant mental health
in a rush en masse, and sunlight warm, slays
these soulless bloodsuckers, poof! Combust!
Yea, dreams of jubilee!!! …
Still. Type. I must.
(“Hello, thank you for calling Fear, Misery
LLP. Where we believe that grey’s CHEERY!”)