Two More Poems – Doom Sonnets 2 & 3 April 30, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: Civilization Anonymous, doom, poetry, vEmpire
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Doom Sonnet #2
“Go live in a cave, if that’s how you feel!”
The line reverb’rates in my cebral
chambers still, where thoughts collect and unreel.
My lover’s words caught my surprise febrile.
Of course I need not for him to subscribe
to my eagerly terminal viewpoint.
Artifice World’s behaviors serve diatribe
enough. All I need do, wait to ‘noint
the proper situation and sever
the deathly cords that would bind and strangle
we young seedlings shooting up clever
midst crack and crevice neath the jangle.
Alas, my Jody! Nary a sp’lunker
is spared this troubled era down to hunker.
Doom Sonnet #3
Oh, yah! This dismal epoch comes to close
in Turmoil-Markets, global destruction.
Terminalia Celebration Wind blows
but flimsy sticks ‘tempting some obstruction
through stoking fears and waging wars. Brittle
and rigid, their strength withers in the storms
of their own making. Watch as their little
egos crater and their grandest of forms
implodes. Oh, houses made with walls of Hoyle
were not conceived to withstand simple breaths,
and the air-castles now foreclosed, lives uncoil,
hurtle craven and brazen alike to deaths
and inj’ries the subject of much laughter.
And what remains gets to clean up after…
New Page! April 29, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: Man Plans Goddess Laughs, Play, Wall Street
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Just an alert that I added a new page to my blog, that it is a little play I wrote a few months ago that seems somehow relevant to the crazies on Wall Street and elsewhere who forget the simple spiritual/religious adage “Man Plans & Goddess Laughs.” *smirk*
Hope you all enjoy “Ah Sweet Twilight! Thou Canst Not Come Quick Enough”
Another Eth’lly-deathel-Death Post April 29, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: death gods, divinity, ego death, Mayan calendar
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I’ve mentioned that I tend to think a lot about death. Many of the deities I adore–Hermes, Hades, Persephone, Cerridwen, Kali–have a death aspect. Freyja and Odin divide up warriors who have perished in battle. I could go on with other aspects as well. Plus, my Mayan Day Sign is 6-Death. Or “Worldbridger” if you would rather. T’yah!
My tarot card of the year (from Samhain 2008 to Samhain 2009) is The Fool. I drew this card today, so I pay attention a mite more to what goes on during days such as this. This morning it occurred to me as I talked with the Red God aka Shaitan, the other twin divine who is complement to Dian-y-Glas (the Blue God), that perhaps it is the civilized part of me, the “Richard” part of me that is “dying.” That this Frostwolf T’Firerose aspect of myself is in fact a sort of character-chrysalis into which the caterpillar of my civilized (and therefore broken) identity is cocooning itself to become the butterfly that will later emerge.
Several months ago, I noticed that one of my “critters” which isn’t really a critter at all, became pregnant. Or rather I awoke to its pregnancy would be more accurate. It’s been the Glorious Pregnant Green Crystal Heart Amazing Source Plasma Creation Mystery at the core of my 4th chakra (mythic). (My animal 4th chakra totem is the Otter.) Well, today I realized that the death thing and this pregnancy thing are related in a “well, kein-Scheiss” kinda moment. And I see that this aspect of me that has been the good little husband, the mascot, the scapegoat, the righteously indignant one, the ambitious little prick, etc., is winding itself down and going into a much-needed winter, to become fodder for my Self Ecosystem as it were.
The chyrsalis of Frostwolf will be breaking down the Richard material. Actually, I think it’s already started, but really the different cells of the body of this Richard caterpillar that fought against the transformation for so long have now since accepted the state of affairs, that the caterpillar time is now over, and a new phase needs to begin.
I don’t know how much of the chrysalis of Frostwolf has been spun, but it’s certainly quickened. I am conscious of the fact that it hasn’t sealed as of yet, and I have no idea of what happens once it’s sealed. Is it like a butterfly which takes a certain amount of time? Or is it like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which overtakes the individual the second he or she falls asleep?
(Speaking of which, SPRAAAAAAWWWWWKK! a shout out to my inner BillO! 
)
Today’s Meme: Alchemy April 28, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: alchemy, Bill O'Reilly, Buddhism, Christianity, Clark Strand, Dionysus, Divine Twins, Euripides, Iron Pentacle, Prayer, prima materia, Shaitan, The Bacchae, witchcraft
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Three different blogs – all mentioning the same sort of material. Or prima materia, rather. Lesvisible. awakeninthedream. reconnections. So, let me get on the bandwagon!
Let me just start out by saying that alchemy needs to be brought back to everyday reality. After Enlightenment, the Laundry. Really the work of a witch, kahuna or a christed person is the same as the Great Work spoken of in alchemy, as well as Bodhisattva, and other words used in different traditions.
For example: Today I opened up Clark Strand’s How to Believe in God to random sections, and discovered two wonderful ideas that seem to be related. One is that Zen meditation and prayer are not two different things but really the same thing. The other had to do with the story of Jonah hating the residents of Nineveh so much and being SO angry that he couldn’t fathom salvation for himself if it also meant salvation for those … well, I doubt Jonah would have even been able to use the word “people” to describe them. It’s like something I shared with my classmates in my Feri training over the weekend, that I struggle with accepting right wingnut spraaaaawwwkers like O’Reilly, Beck, Coulter, etc. I see that there is a lot of power there that I feel uneasy with, and that power is every bit as much in me as it is in them.
Alchemy is but one pathway into accepting one’s self in all their parts. The Bill O’Reilly part of me, or rather what I have taken to calling the “Drunk Uncle Art” part of me, because my Uncle Art and O’Reilly had/have pretty much exactly the same m.o. in life, seems content to sit in judgment of me and to just spout off all this insanity. It doesn’t really matter what it’s about, just that I get hooked by it.
Bill O’Reilly is representative of the Divine Twin that doesn’t get talked about, that being Shaitan. Just as King Pentheus paid a price in squelching Dionysian energy in Euripides’ The Bacchae, so too will I pay a price if I don’t find a way to come into right contact with Shaitan. I can sing praises to the Blue God all I want. I need to also embrace the other elements of myself that I may feel some antipathy toward and attempt to disavow or think of as the walking toilet. (Just as Billo would appear to do as regards myself.)
I have lived uneasily for months now in my icklesome judgment of this tortured creature. He reminds me of the scene in Harry Potter 7 when he and Voldemort’s “soul fragment” or whatever V. has become at that point, are in this other liminal realm, and Harry and Dumbledore take pity on the creature. It has put itself through a lot of karmic pain and disaster, has caused a lot of havoc and despair in the wizarding realm, but still nonetheless, it elicits something in Harry that goes beyond mere compassion. Cosmic compassion, perhaps? Ah, words are inadequate…
In 12-step parlance, I give Billo a lot of property in my head. He’s not paying rent. My reactions are extracting mana from me, and this is unacceptable.
Alchemy, as Paul Levy and C.G. Jung both note, shows a mode of psychospiritual transformation, and I need to put my reactions to wingnutospheric antics into the cauldron. (Sort of in a related manner, I see that Carolyn Baker’s recent article about choosing gardening over tribunals also fits into this. Hm. Something to explore later, perhaps, seeing as all things are connected.)
Likewise, I have certain fears about my upcoming show. Those fears have energy that I could use more constructively rather than stewing. I have some processes afforded to me through my training that help in transforming the susceptibility to lies and the re-education of my child-self to work with the other parts.
Embracing those unwanted (for now), disowned parts myelf is becoming aware of the prima materia that alchemists dive into to discover the divine spark within. Embracing the fear and diving into it. Embracing the insanity and diving into it. (But with the proper precautions being taken of course, and supervision where warranted.) E.g., the nigredo.
And that’s the part of the journey I’m about to enter inot. Sucks to be me? I don’t know. I like to share whatever gifts I acquire, because I can’t keep them unless I give them away.
More to come on my journey to becoming Iron.
Two Poems April 23, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, Mystical.add a comment
I will be away this weekend starting tomorrow, so no blogging for me. (At least I don’t expect to.) So I will post these 2 poems I wrote yesterday and today.
What Does It Mean? To Be 45 And Thiking Fondly of Death?
The Hudson flows upstream at Noon,
As estuaries are wont. I sit, enlunchhoured
having doffed shoes and socks, bare feet
on moist antful ground and sod.
A breeze blows northward: Enhancing
flow of water? How wind and river
converse ain’t no never mind to me.
In this gastrointerregnum
wherein I have time to myself
I muse on my bare left foot
contemmplating the purple network
I can see through dermal layers.
Neither old, nor young, neither pup
nor sage, I ponder this body.
Not exactly happy, nor abject,
still I languish and long to moulder
in a comfortable cold grave, let
the warmth of my body dissipate
in self-same earth now cradling my feet
then to slough off cells and matter
to become carried off by the air.
Some would call this morbid. Maybe.
How I dream of days collectively jobless
wherein each of us learns to feel our feet
and to connect with Work Divine and Grand.
We need to help this mode toward Death
as gracefully and speedily as possible.
Should there even be such chance afforded.
My yearning for the plain and valley of death
emerges from this anguished strait
jacketing me down to debt slave hoosegow,
a veal-fattening pen in a cubicle farm.
Save for this vital wind and earth respite
that allows my body to breath from feet
upward, I feel oh so sterile and dead to else.
I caress my pale, thin-veined foot,
feel its smoothness as well as veins
and yes, there is life here. Of course there is.
Still, I crave a butterfly transformation.
Each of us stands on some phase of this path
whether egg, larva, caterpillar or incubation
into the gloried beauty we know lies within.
******
Doom Sonnet #1
Is it too late? What sort of time do we
have? Implosions of finance and weather
coalesce around us all. Some won’t see
this Titanic we the blind sail, dither
themselves into a most-contented doom.
To breathe acceptance into disaster?
Could this be folly, as these crises loom,
sprout up and overtake this one faster,
that one slower? But what choice do we have?
The source from which all our answers emerge–
It may not seem like much. The merest salve,
as tsunamis nature and artifice converge.
I remember. We’re in this together.
Even as all ’round us loses tether.
Pre-… April 22, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, Mystical, Personal Journey, Uncategorized.Tags: overpopulation, predictions, prognostication, Sharon Astyk
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I find myself wondering if I’m ahead of the curve or just lost somewhere. Yesterday I thought it was interesting that I should muse about overpopulation, then surf over to Energy Bulletin where there was an article by Sharon Astyk about children and the same issue.
I realize that overpopulation and immigration both are highly complex issues, and that there is a tendency in many quarters to try and reduce things to a zero-sum approach. Bad idea. Neither of these issues can be easily addressed; they need meticulous thought and intuition. They are also both related to one another–certainly the bulging numbers of humans on the planet is driving certain crises in various parts of the world, not in small part due to the rapacious and psychopathic needs of the vEmpire’s anthropophagy and fiery burning through everything in its path. Here’s the link:
So I posted some thoughts on Casaubon’s Book, and . . . crickets. Like usual. I know that I have my own spin on things, and that I share points-of-view that people just find downright odd, but I sometimes feel a mite vulnerable and fragile about it. Again, I don’t know if it’s that I’m a step ahead or just out in another field to other people’s perceptions. Maybe a bit of both, for I was musing about the spiritual aspect and the energetic aspect of “over”-population and wondering how, if nothing is wasted in Divine economy, then what the hell is going on with this fast-approaching the 7-billion mark population of humans on this orb.
I know that there’s little patience for the spiritual aspects of things. Yet I know too that if we don’t address these issues taking that into account, we will perhaps arrive at a soulless “solution” that will need to be solved yet again. Because we didn’t bring all of ourselves to bear on the matter. One point that Sharon made that gets lost is the spiritual/religious aspect of the matter. I’m not talking the “Vagina: Not A Clown Car” matter of the Quiverfulls, or “men’s rights” patriarchy defenders, but those who really understand that bringing a new person into the world requires some forethought and some welcoming in of the divine. Because it was such a time-intensive matter, and one that involved a whole community, our forebears used to really consider whether it was appropriate for a new birth to take place, and how resources would be allocated. And they brought their gods and goddesses into the process. Today, it all seems so blase, mundane, thoughtless. It would be easy for me to dismiss my sister and her nine kids as being a burden. But the fact is those kids are here, and they need to be appreciated as lessons for something that is yet unknown. I have to trust there’s a spiritual logic behind all this, even though science and yahoo-religion both want to wrest the discussion toward technocracy in one direction and armageddon in the other. To discern the path through this thorny wood… Ah, if only there were voices who could operate with the air-thought, fire-inspired action, water-emotion, earth-practicality, ether-mysterious intuition/awe in some sort of flexible relation to one another, not making any of the other Elements wrong and finding appreciation for them.
Maybe that’s a lot to ask.
Overpopulation? April 21, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Civilization Anonymous, Mystical, Personal Journey.Tags: awe, Gaia, neurology, Paul Pearsall
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I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, but it’s all meant to be dialogue, right? I’m in the middle of Paul Pearsall’s last book, Awe: The Eleventh Emotion and I’m rather intrigued by it. He did a Study of the Awe-Inspired (SAI) to examine what goes on with this quite subjective experience. I find it refreshing that he incorporates the observations of Richard Dawkins, who I feel has become too much of a knee-jerk atheist, but who nonetheless can’t escape awe either.
In the middle of the book there’s a discussion of Francis Crick, one of the discoverers of DNA, and his wish that consciousness would merit deeper scientific study. His own theory was that it could be explained scientifically at some point. I’m dubious about that prospect, preferring mystery and acceptance to guide my own path, but in this discussion there was the observation that our consciousness takes place in a context of literally trillions of transactions being made by a hundred billion cells of 100 different types.
For some reason that made me think of the 6+ Billion people on this planet, and whether or not we are somehow a manifestation of Gaian-organism consciousness, that we are somehow all these interpersonal and communal neuronal/axial combinations on top of n/a combinations on top of other combinations yet. And that as some mystics believe, for the evolution of our planet and species, that we are ALL necessary even though some of us are plainly psychopathic and believe that they should have the power to decide who lives and dies.
It made me feel awe actually, to wonder if this was true. It seems to be a theme of my day about making space for those who disagree with me. Even those who seem to desire my death, though I recognize that in many instances that would be their death as well. (I do have a lot of gifts after all.)
Post #2: Venus Stations Direct Today 29 Pisces April 17, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Mystical.Tags: Anaretic Degrees, Aries Point, astrology, astroworld.us, magick, Pisces, Venus, Venus station direct
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It occurred to me earlier today that part of my own personal insanity right now has to do with this Venus transit, which just kissed my own Natal Venus at 15 Aries (and also that square with the Cancer Moon, which is my most exact aspcect), and it retro’d until 29 Pisces. Over the past few days and into the next couple, this means it is right on the Aries Point, which points to a universal human element. Venus retro–Venus even going forward does NOT like to be in Aries. Venus rules Libra and Taurus, and the signs opposing those–Aries and Scorpio–are said to be where Venus is in detriment. It’s exalted in Pisces, and in fall in Virgo. So since somewhere near Groundhog Day/Imbolc, when Venus hit 29 Aries, then later in March turned retro until today, and on until May 20th when it surpasses 15 Aries, we have been/will continue to be in a somewhat darkened and crazy time, made more so because of the signs involved.
Think of it this way. Venus went through cosmic, mystical and deliriously delicious Pisces and then came into warlike, impulsive and defiant Aries, then pointed backward at the midpoint, to dip just over a degree into Pisces and then to skirt back into Aries again for another 6 weeks give or take. From ooshy-gooshy to ooga-booga, going backwards through ooga-booga just a smidge into oo-la-la and then back forward into the slog of ooga-booga followed AT LAST by dipping into Taurean balmy waters. Aahhh…
Well. Because I have my own Venus at the station retro point, and that it squares my moon, it only makes sense to me in light of this epiphany, that I would be feeling this a tad more intensively than many others. Compounding the matter, Venus is intercepted in my chart, though it recently progressed past my ascendant which means it’s more available to me now. (Venus in Aries. Detriment. Oh, great!)
Actually, given that March/April has been a difficult transition time generally for me since getting abstinent, it’s a miracle that I’ve not jumped off a bridge or committed homicide. This transit was like a cosmic PMS. Goddess, did it hurt!
I read on another blog–astroworld.us, actually–that today is a good day to write down what you would like to see happen in the next few months. I wrote really fast, and I add to it later, if I get any other insights. One of my “wacky” ones is jubilee, at least a 40% (hopefully 100%) reduction in my debts. One is a new way of working, though I won’t be specific about it. Better to let my godself and fetch dream up something fabuliciously beyond my wildest dreams.
Post #1: Why Stop There? April 17, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Capital Region Notions, Civilization Anonymous.add a comment
I was casting about for a post today, and this afternoon two posts emerged in my head. Here’s the first one.
Over at AmericaBlog–which is a site that is starting to wear thin on me in its reflexive head-centered, center/-left dogmatism–someone started a rather snarky post about the devilish Tom Delay’s proposal to divide Tejas en cinco estados, asi que los Estados Unidos sacara’ Tejas afuera del union. Well. My thought was why stop there? Let’s continue dividing and dividing into more rational subdivisions based on units of oh, say, 20,000.
It’s ridiculous to me that here in Albany-Troy-Schenectady, I have a lot more in common with the residents of the Berkshires and of Vermont, but that I am in a government-structure that includes New York City, Long Island, Rochester, Syracuse, Binghamton and Buffalo. Within the Capital Region, there are pockets I also have issues with, which is why I think the 150,000 mark may not be such a bad thing.
I think I’m a couple years–well, the way things are accelerating, maybe only a few to several months–ahead of the game, here. But really the idea that the states we have should accommodate the populations they contain is really a recipe for dissatsfaction of the highest order. And it’s about to devolve into real ugliness.
My thought is of course, why stop with just Texas? And for that matter, Lone Star Untied States, why stop at merely 5? Why not, oh, 5,000?
And with California, h0w does 10,000 sound?
And with New York City, how does 400 sound? One governmental group for every 20,00 people? Sounds good to me.
Albany could be 5 states by itself, and Troy could split into its Blue State-Red State self. Though Little Italy straddles that divide I think. But I could be wrong.
My intuition? Says that we won’t have to do much. The talk of secession serves a different spiritual purpose in my eyes. It’s interesting to me that the people who would hold me and others like me up as the jehovahsatan to their extraextrasatanjehovahsatan should have a notion similar to what I’ve been wishing for myself. As much as I enjoy the fact that there are people like me the world over, I long for community right near my home. This of course flies in the face of the lords of the flies who wish to be the turdblossoms at the center of the universe. (Or rather “antiverse,” and I mean that as also “anti-song” as well as any other way that might be taken.) Hell-Central Control doesn’t like individual agency much–it seems too much like true godliness. Which, in fact, it actually is.
Who is this flower above MY head? What is the Work of THIS GOD? I WOULD know MYSELF in all MY parts, after all.
“I Vant to Be Alone.” April 16, 2009
Posted by frostwolftfirerose in Uncategorized.Tags: 10 of swords, 666, anger, depression, Drychtyn, FedEx Truck Diviniation, necronomy, Quakoralina, Star Goddess, Sugma'ad, vEmpire
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… in death.
I wonder if death is solitary. Or if its chaotic overpopulation?
When we were but fetal tissue developing in the womb, for every cell in our body, at least 1,000 others were created and then destroyed. Such is the AWEsome power of nature. (AWEsome, as opposed to the mundane, “like, awesome, man!” Just so I’m clear.)
I take a bipolar med. Except for this time of year, when my insanity rises and hopefully peaks rather soon, I seem to be all right with it. Though I see that one of my triggers is overwork and pressure. Deadlines and all that c*ntnoise. Days like today (and fittingly I drew the 10 of swords which depicts a man with 10 swords piercing his body), I feel particularly raw, like someone just ripped the shell off my softbody, as if I was a crab. And didn’t have the courtesy to follow through and eat me, just leaving me to the elements. Talk about vampires!
It’s also interesting that my tags here will reach 666 today. (So I put 666 as one of my tags, perhaps it will be 666?) And as I was walking back to work, thinking about mypotential future as a busted body at the foot of a building, I turned the corner and what should I see but a magickal FedEx truck for my witchy pleasure. Lovely.
I see that part of what happens is that I see my partner doing well with things. He’s working on a project and he just met someone with a recognizable name who gave him strokes, and he’s entwined with the vEmpire and profiting from the necronomy, and I guess I have some judgments about that. Or perhaps anger and rage that I wasn’t/am not able/am proscribed from achieving anything of personal or true-communal value within the necronomy. (“Would you like some death with your fries and subprime mortgage, sir?”)
I feel like I’m being sucked dry, that I’m turning into a husk. Oh, if only a wind would come and blow it all away! Whoosh! Gone with the vEmpire winds of change. If only a cross-wind would come and batter the angel being blown backwards into the future by the storm of “progress” (courtesy of Walter Benjamin) so that the “progress” is stilled. Or better yet, the angel is blown forward into revisitation of the wreckage and for much needed repairs.
Days like today, 10 of swords days like today, all I really want to do is cry. I desperately need a mental health day. I’m feeling a mite reckless right now, in keeping with this Martial month o’ Aries. I saw a car on the street advertising skydiving. Have to say I thought about stepping out of a plane without the parachute. Or taking it along, but choosing not to pull the cord. “Not with a bang, but a whoosh-splat!”
I seem to drip with anger today. I dreamt someone was keeping me from my abstinent food. She knew she was doing it, too. I couldn’t tell if it was malicious or just mischievous. But it hurt. And then later in the same dream, I was going around the city trying to cobble together my abstinent meal and I counted on this one place having my protein. And when I got there, they only had breads and pastries.
I sense this is more than just waking up on the wrong side of the bed. These times are bipolar, and I’m just mirroring that.
My prayer: vEmpire DIE! necronomy DIE! Visualize the collapse of the civilization imminent. Put myself inside the vortex, the portal of that time. Pull it toward me and make it now. Star Goddess Make it So.!
