Troy-Albany Trance-Formations

This isn’t something that I would really be able to break down into 3 separate posts, but it doesn’t seem right for me to put any of the various items I put in the title off the table. 

Recently I had the great pleasure to devour Carolyn Baker’s Sacred Demise.  “A Thanksgiving meal of a book, a veritable feast” if I had to sum it up in a few words.  The poetry she sprinkles throughout the book and the quotations from the various individuals who have informed her life lodged inside me like glorious hooks to buoy me along these troubled waters.  This is the book I have been seeking after, because I need to answer questions for myself along the way into the interior depths of this end of time as we have commonly understood time. 

I’m heartened that people out there such as Psychegram, Les Visible and Charles Hugh Smith, in addition to Carolyn Baker and Sharon Astyk and others have been quietly and persistently ringing the various bells and gongs to get people’s attention.  Mr. Smith referred to the “Remnant” in today’s oftwominds posting, and I deeply resonated with that.  I’ve long been conscious that I don’t need to reach everyone, just those people who are open to hearing what I have to say.  And I have to say very few people in my fleshly reality are quite that open.  It’s necessary and vital I meet people over the Internet, and travel into the Mad River Valley of Vermont every once in awhile–though even Tim & Sally Erickson had a difficult experience recently there.  Clearly some success is being won, though the “reward” if it can be called that is to help others awaken to the pain they’ve been feeling all this time but have anesthetized themselves to. 

The thing is I’ve been through a bit of that, and I’ve made it to the other side.  I know I get to do it all over again, but this time in a different manner, and that yes, I’m also a way-shower though I’m also going through it just like everyone else.  I’m coming to think of myself as a spiritual transition coach, not unlike a career counselor or life coach, but one who is focussed more on helping people move out of the necronomy and vEmpire models into something more vital and vibrant, more honest and open, more expressive of one’s personal flair/spark.

It’s interesting that as I focus on some of this stuff, that possible temptations or diversions (?) pop up along the way.  My landlord has offered to sell me the building I live in.  This makes me nervous in more ways than can be imagined, not the least of which is because of the nature of “owning property” in this FIRE necronomy.  I’m experiencing quite a bit of success of late, but I’m also coming into my own power.  My partner made a comment about that over the weekend.  We only got to see each other a litte as I had some OT work.  He said that he was nervous that as I move into my own power I would need him less.  But I was thinking, this is a good thing–because it means I get to want him more. 

I have read my cards about this R.E. opportunity a couple of times, and both times they have been encouraging though the last one also ended with the Moon.  The immediate future card was the Fool, which happens to be my card of the year.  The Moon is the Pisces card, and I see that as being more about answering the call of myself in some manner.  One must be careful with the Moon though–sometimes it’s about seeing what I want to see.  To be fair though, what I really want to see right now is “anything but this.”  I think I will have a lot of painful hurdles to jump if I pursue this, and I’m really not sure I want to.

Still, the success aspect of this whole thing as well as the community candle that I burned a couple of weeks ago seem to point to the inevitability of creating a powerfully protective and protected base.  Diana, the patroness of the Little Italy neighborhood seems to be weaving me into the tapestry of the place.  I’m desired there, as well as in Schenectady (even as all the wheels come off there).

Success however, leads me to ponder community and for some reason, I can’t help but think on beauty as well.  Carolyn Baker quoted John O’Donohue in his book Beauty: The Invisible Embrace, which is another beautiful book, though one that causes impatience in me at times.  I realize that part of my call is the attention to beauty, which is why I’m with my partner as well, which is why also I’m a Feri priest seeking to make all things sound.  Beauty enters into my life frequently unbeknownst to me.  I stumble upon it or it sneaks a hand up and holds me by the throat.  I am a sucker for beauty in so many of its forms.

Beauty is everywhere around me, and I’m aware of it frequently.  Not always.  I see that there are people in my life who act as “beauty blockers” alas.  (Sometimes I wonder if they’re paid to do that.)  I’m very grateful to C. Baker for alerting me to J. O’Donohue’s book though.  It too fills me up, but in a different way. 

Today, I just feel grateful.  And I’m eager to watch the unraveling of the old and the birth of the new.  To be a part of both, a weaver of death and life simultaneously.  Yea, to be alive in 2009!